How to start a conversation in a bar

Read the room first

Look for open signals: someone alone at the bar, eye contact that lasts a second longer, a smile back, a group that is chatting with neighbours. Avoid interrupting a deep conversation or someone who is clearly busy on their phone or with a friend.

Openers that work

The best openers are about what you share right now: the place, the music, the drink.

• "That looks good. What did you order?"
• "First time here? I'm trying to decide what to get."
• "Do you know who's playing tonight?"
• "I'm new in the neighbourhood. Any place you'd recommend for dinner?"

Simple honesty works too: "Hi, I'm Alex. I didn't want to leave without saying hello."

Keep it light, and keep it short

Ask open questions, listen, and share something about yourself. After a few minutes, give the other person an easy exit: "I'll let you get back to your friends. Nice to meet you." If they want to continue, they will.

Respect a no

Short answers, crossed arms, turning back to friends: that is a no, and that is fine. Smile, say "enjoy your evening", and move on. Being gracious is attractive to everyone else in the room.

Where HelloHere helps

The hardest part is not knowing if someone is open to meeting people at all. On HelloHere, everyone visible in the venue has chosen to be there for that. You send a hello, and a chat opens only if it is mutual. If not, nobody is told. Then you go and say hi in person.